On Saturday, July 10, I DNF (did not finish) the Ridge Route Ultra 40k trail race. I had (and still have) no regrets. Here is why...
NOTE: This post was written on July 12, which was two days after the Ridge Route Ultra and 12 days before the Elder Creek Night Runs 50k.
I hope this serves as a reminder, and maybe inspiration, that not every single run is perfect. That sometimes you need to accept defeat and use it as a means to train smarter and work harder. I do not feel like a failure by any means.
I showed up. I gave it my best. I continued on to mile 20, despite wanting to drop at mile 13, in 100 degree temps that had me feeling like I was trekking through hell.
Here is what led to me bonking out:
Five more miles in 100% exposure
Aid stations not being where I expected them to be
The 3,000 ft climb within the first 4 miles of the race
A late start and miscommunication of cut off times
The sweeper van on my ass
Posterior tibial tendon pain in my left foot
I wasn‘t particularly excited to say I didn’t finish but I wasn’t ashamed either. I feel I made the best choice for me because running isn’t supposed to be a punishment. When it starts to truly feel terrible, and my mindset goes to a dark place, that’s when I need to call it. Sometimes my anxiety could power me through but I didn’t want to risk it.
I am extremely proud of myself and not worried about the 50k I have in two weeks. Nor am I concerned about running R2R2R across the Grand Canyon in October. I know I can do it and I will.
I’m running to fight cancer.
I’m running in memory of my father who lost his life to cancer in March.
I’m running for Lili. She is the DEFINITION of strength, determination, and resilience as she lives with and fights against a rare form of Stage IV Ovarian Cancer.
I’m running to raise money for her expensive and life-saving treatments. (You can help by donating).
My journey is my journey. I refuse to let comparison steal the joy of my own progress or stop me from pursuing what I KNOW I am capable of.
I am humbled by the challenges I’m taking on to train for something extraordinary. It’s helping me heal from the heartbreak of losing my father and making a difference in Lili’s fight against cancer. This is so much bigger than myself.
You can support my mission by donating to the GoFundMe I set up for Lili’s fight against Ovarian cancer (she receives 100% of the donation).
You can also purchase from my Etsy Shop.
Every month I’m donating 10% of profits to Lili. The rest goes towards my coaching, nutrition, logistics, and supplies so I can keep adding to the store.
Cheers to 20 miles & 4,500+ ft of elevation gain. Upwards and onwards we go.
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